Sep 1, 2007
Larry Craig
How many sex scandals can we have on Capitol Hill in one year (Mark Foley, David Vitter, Larry Craig)? Also, even though he's obviously not a senator, can I throw Ted Haggard into this conversation just to make my argument stronger that there are a ton of sex scandals lately involving powerful people that promote family values? Do things like this always happen and it's just the media decided that this year would be the year of the Congress sex scandal (like that one year when they extensively covered every single kidnapping or that one year they covered every single shark attack and everyone thought these things were more prevalent when in reality it was just the fact that the media made them so) or is this some sort of new thing and an indication of the disintegration of morals in America or something like that? Was that last sentence far too long to be understood or does the fact that a good chunk of it was a parenthetical statement make it okay? Does it mean something that the scandals are all with right-wing-ers? Is that the media's fault? Is a Democrat who engages with a prostitute or comes out as gay or whatever not going to get the coverage that a Republican does? Is that wrong?
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PEEKING AND DUCKING
It seems strange that Republicans are so into boy-loving--
But why should Craig go to the Hague when he was just Karl-Roving,
By which I mean (before a snit´s thrown) acting hypocrite:
It seems high principled (and balled) folks don´t know when to quit.
What is it with these Christian fundamentalists as well
That seem to go to bed with boys which they can never tell
(If not with myriad prostitutes in seedy-bought affairs):
The coalition does much more than putting on its airs.
(I´d rather keep my nose out from the bedroom of a brother,
But my compatriots it seems will not abide that druther:
Republicans as fixate if it leads minds to catharsis
Imagination on the pricks as penetrate dark arses.
Please, is it such a thrill to think upon what others do
In privacy? It seems to me you merely misconstrue
Images flashed continuously upon your troubled mind,
Heavily breathing--thoughts upon another man assigned.)
Look, I´m a carnal man as much as any other fellow,
But I´m a mite annoyed with trying to drown out the bellow:
Y´all sound like elephants in heat whatever that may sound like,
Trumpeting yearnings unfulfilled for passions all unbound-like.
Leave me in peace: beneath the sheets I have a dainty lover,
Gender of whom though you presume ´tis not yours to discover--
The creature has that suppleness, gentility of youth
While you distract as per extraction of a rotten tooth.
The object of my sweet desires and my affections is
So smooth in skin unblemished as I press and make like this,
But why is it so grave to you what sort it is I kiss?
Regardless, I and--someone--have achieved a perfect bliss.
So I imagine in the dark
It turns you on, to think and think,
But we have set the car in park
While yours is rolling off the brink.
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