Please join me in awe of the following conversation I had with my roommate Monique Monday morning (the only prerequisite is knowing that Monique works at the McKay Events Center).
Monique: Have you ever heard of the Smashing Pumpkins?
Me (thinking, Who on earth hasn't heard of Smashing Pumpkins? If you'd asked me before this moment to estimate how many people I know who have never heard of Smashing Pumpkins I would have guessed less than 2%, though I'm now suddenly doubting my existence): Yeah, why?
Monique: I think I'm working their show tonight.
Me (thinking, I'm positive they aren't coming until later this month): Are you sure? I didn't know they were coming so soon. If I had a single dime to my name I'd be going to that concert, but that's unfortunately not the case. Also, I'd be going to see Muse, I think they're coming this week.
Monique: Oh, that's right, I'm working the show for the Muse tonight.
Me (thinking, "The Muse"? Where do these people come from?): I'm so jealous, you basically get paid to go to all these concerts don't you?
Monique: Yeah, but once they start, I normally go out in the hall; the concert are loud and smell like pot and I don't usually like the music.
Me (thinking, The loudness and the pot smell are part of the rock concert experience and there are a lot of good bands playing at the McKay Center this fall and I bet you won't appreciate any of them and what a shame that is): Fair enough.
Monique: It gets better later in the year when there are more sports events and around Christmastime when they get classical artists like Kurt Bestor.
Me (thinking, Kurt Bestor is not a classical artist, more like Mormon pop): Yeah...so there's no way you can sneak someone into a concert is there?
Monique: No, I can't. A bunch of my friends were asking me that back when Fall Out Boy and the All-American Rejects came.
Me (thinking, That's because your friends have horrific taste): If you're going to break into a concert why would you do Fall Out Boy and the All-American Rejects?
Monique: I know, they were pretty dirty.
Me (thinking, Foul mouths are part of the rock concert experience, it has nothing to do with that comment): Yeah.
Monique: I hope the Muse keep it clean tonight.
Me (thinking, I was hoping the "the" was an accident before, but it apparently is what she really thinks they go by): Yeah, I suppose you'll see. See you later.
And for those wondering, she wasn't working Smashing Pumpkins or Muse on Monday. The Pumpkins come on the 28th (as I thought) and Muse plays tonight and I wish I were there right now, but what can you do when you're poor? The show she worked was Modest Mouse, so nothing to get excited about. (My thoughts on Modest Mouse: I don't know them well enough to pass judgment, but lots of people with questionable music taste like them, so I doubt they're any good.)