Apartment 328 Quotes

It's been a couple weeks now since leaving that glorious place, or rather, that glorious roommate dynamic, and, as promised, it's time to record the quote board so that it won't be lost to future generations:

"This year, I think we should wear clothes."

"Don't lie to me, young lady."

"I'm so glad I'm not dating a ninja turtle."

"I'm Swedish--and I can date whoever I want, you Nazi!"

"My boobs don't lie. Because they don't."

"I can't tell you what we were doing, but I can tell you it involved tweezers."

"I made it more masculine with the windup...Drop It Like It's Hott."

"My dad is president of the family Speedo club." "Does that make you the treasurer?"

"Please tell me you just saw that?" "Oh yeah!"

"It doesn't work because I have to defecate."

"J-Lo's love may not cost a thing, but mine is fifty bucks a pop." "What exactly constitutes one pop of Andrea love?"

"Uh...did you see this?"

"Does a pedophile make sound?"

"I've got it! We'll carve a bust of Neil Diamond out of cheese!"

"It's a resilient little mammal!"

"I just want to jump into bed with him!...like he was my brother, not my lover..."

"Urine conquers all."

"Now pull up your pants and let's go to yoga."

"Does Donald Trump cry?"

"Circle of fifths...that's really hot somehow."

"I could pee my pants in front of you guys...I just really really really really don't want to."

"Why does she get the bigger half?" "Because I have the bigger baby...what?"

"Wow, you know how to use water." "That's why I'm a chemical engineer." "Uh, more like that's why you should be a caterer."

"Are you leaving the house like that?"

"Easy Mac is better than nothing...In fact, it's better than a lot of good things."

"17? That's like...more than a dozen!"

"You are not Pam-ing the cheese!"

"What's more important: my sister or my celestial prospects?"

"I don't think I've seen that one."

"Ashlee Simpson's talent is the faith to be healed. Not singing."

"Fecal Fiesta?"

"The real question: what's more important: your celestial prospects or chocolate peanut butter malt?" "How about a celestial prospect that buys me chocolate peanut butter malt?"

"I want a bed full of kittens...and Christian Bale."

"Some people like to get monkeys high. I'm one of them."

"Frankie Muniez: born December 1985. Eat That."