grant Gagon

(originally posted at eclaircie.diaryland.com)

I got a text message two nights ago from a number I didn’t recognize: “Hey sorry you called and i was gone any ways i was just wondering if you wanted to do some thing tonight sorry it is so late i just got your message though” and then a few minutes later from the same number: “Any ways i am going out of town tomorrow till august seventh but we need to do some thing when i get back”. So I respond with a “I believe you have a wrong number. Who is this?”

G: Sorry this is grant Gagon
A: Yeah, you have a wrong number. Sorry, i don’t know you.
G: Oh sorry who is this
A: Andrea…you don’t know me.
G: Oh well sorry about that ha ha i feel dumb but where do you live like what school do you go to are you in school how old are you

At this point I’m thinking, “This guy must be either really bored or really lonely or a serial killer looking for his next victim. “ And who in the world gets a wrong number and then decides it would be a good time to make friends? Before I can respond I get another message from him.

G: Well sorry about that my name is grant Gagon i am seventeen and i am a sr at pleasant grove high
A: Don’t worry about it. It’s been fun. As great as i’m sure you are, however, i couldn’t give out that kind of info. I hope you have a lovely life, though!
G: Ha ha you to and i do not blame you for it just dont take my id and do some thing crazy with it ha ha if you want you can google it see what comes up but other than that i hope you be kind enough to leave it alone

Out of curiosity (aka boredom) I decide to take it all to the next level. I google him and pull up a bunch of high school wrestling references.

A: Wrestling, hm? Haha…well, good luck with that.
G: Ha ha yeah thanks
G: So i take it you did google me well any ways hope i can trust you with the rest
A: Yes, well i was curious. And don’t worry, you’re safe with me.
G: Well thank you so can you tell me if you play any sports
A: I suffer from an unfortunate lack of coordination. So really all i’ve done is powderpuff football my first two years of high school.
G: Ha ha sweet i wish pg had it and well that is still cool so what you like doing
A: I like watching style network. That’s what i was occupied with when you first texted me. Also music, sewing, automotive repair and yoga.
G: Ha ha that is cool and is that the station with project run way hate to admit it but i like that show alot
A: Project runway is a brilliant program. Not on style network, but similar stuff. It’s my bedtime now, i’m attempting to get on a better sleep schedule. Good night!

Because I was getting bored with it. And that was that. Until yesterday afternoon: “Do you go to mountain view” He’s still on the hunt! I say “Nope.” And he responds with “Oh ok never mind then sorry to bother you”. I tell him it’s not a problem and to have a nice day. I believe that will be the end of our correspondence.

The real mystery of the whole thing is: What kind of guy ignores all punctuation and thinks that “any ways”, “some thing”, "you to", "alot" and “run way” are acceptable, but still takes the time to capitalize his last name? I don’t get it. And he didn’t capitalize his first name? In my book, capitalization is one of the least necessary of the rules of grammar. People know what you’re saying even if you don’t capitalize it. In lazy situations such as texting, the only rules I believe need to be followed are those of punctuation and keeping things in the right tense. I’d even let spelling slide. And capitalization doesn’t matter at all.