Freshman Year
“If I’m kissing anything it’s going to be myself!”
“We have proverbs…like, don’t catch your chickens before they lay their eggs.”
“I’m breeding profusely!”
“That’s not my ferret!”
“You are NOT a subtle seductress.”
“It’s not like I would enjoy picking my friend’s wedgie.”
“It’s just the force of friction was greater than anticipated.”
“It would hurt to give birth to an elephant.”
“I’m so proud of myself! I kept my clothes on the entire time he was over here!”
"I'm going to culture you with my repitoire...BLECH"
“Let’s think about a killer whale tongue.”
“I want your vomit!”
“German shepherd pie!”
“He doesn’t wear anything…and I like that.”
“My tongue…I just want you to feel it.”
“I’ll do anything for money”
“Twist, twist, breathe.”
“I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told anybody…In my dreams, one leg is shorter than the other!”
“You wear underwear for warmth?”
“He’s madly in love with you, but he’s afraid of your face.”
“You freakin’ make me pee!”
“So we were dancing like this…except you have boobs and he doesn’t.”
“I could never tell him that I have skin in my journal!”
“Today my zipper was partway down…I thought of you!”
“It would be weird to be the parent of a kid whose teacher was a belly dancer.”
“You’re in 10th grade?”
“I never touched him…except when I dressed him.”
“My underwear always gets me…I have to stop peeing my pants three times a day.”
“Wait, I only got one nostril!”
“I have nothing to kiss with.”
“So at Winter Ball…” “So, is that in the summer?”
“Drugs are good for you, they make you feel good.”
“And then a llama bit me. The end. Amen.”
“So, what gross things are growing on your body?”
“Where’s your butt?” “That’s me knee!”
“He’s kind of curvy…he has a butt.”
“Stop hogging all the kisses!”
Sophomore Year
"Okay, so roommate rule number one: No naked yoga."
"'Strumming my pain with his fingers...that line just speaks to me." "You know what line speaks to me? 'Lend me some sugar; I am your neighbor!'"
"My sister is like a cocker spaniel...water goes straight through her."
"Do you have really big feet for a short person?"
"So what are you guys talking about?" "Sex." "Oh! That's what my dad does for a living!"
"Vietnam isn't above South Korea...What ARE you??!!"
"I hate having a conscience."
"That would be weird if you were a Muggle."
"Until it's time to DTR, take advantage of..." "The free meals?"
"Humans can lick hands, too."
"It's doctrine! Our New Testament proffessor said a 25-year-old could be a grandma!"
"If I had to wear diapers all the time would you change me?"
"Well this is progressing, as they would say in the Progressive Era of the United States."
"My hair is the most useless thing on the planet." "Have you never heard of Lil' Bow Wow?"
"Did someone in this apartment call 9-1-1?"
"It was an erotic high-five."
"Since I don't have a husband, my sheets shouldn't stink."
"Wow, it looks like they are preparing for a genesis."
"Can you tell I'm flexing my butt?" "You're pinching! You're pinching!"
Oh those were the days. Laughs heaved, slips of the tongue produced, good times had by all. I'm tempted at this point to put up what's on the current quote board, but will hold off until the end of the year to have a complete list. Also I don't already have a list typed out like I did with these, and let's just be honest and admit that I'm way too lazy today to do that kind of labor.
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