I don't know if anyone else appreciates this outside of my office, but can I just say that Tom is my favorite co-worker? The only male in the room that I work in and in some ways the most innocent, even though he's also the oldest.
"The only person who ever looked good in spandex was...Olivia Newton John...man, she looked terrific. Yeah, absolutely terrific."
"It says she wants butt noodles. I'm not sure what that means. ...Buttered noodles!That's it! You're good at this!...The chicken? Just cook it in whatever way is the least fattening. I mean, I know she's putting butter on her noodles, but I think whatever is the least fattening is a good idea."
"I'm sending a Hallmark card to this woman if she ever makes a payment on time. And not just one of those fifty-cent ones, I'll spend a good three dollars."