Nov 11, 2008

A Collection of Election Day Conversations Including, But Not Limited To: Unrealistic Expectations and Me Making A Fool of Myself in Front of a Jew

for L

Random person on the bus on election night: Man traffic is bad, aren't these people supposed to be home watching the news tonight?
Bus driver: I know that's where I'd like to be; I've been asking every person who gets on the bus which states they know have been called so far. But we won't have to worry about traffic long, it looks like Obama's going to win and before you know it, we'll be using converted military helicopters for public transportation.
Me (laughing): That's awesome.
Random person: Do you really think he could do that? I mean, we need a military, right?
Bus driver: It was a joke.
Random person: Oh.

Saudi Arabian guy who called into Talk of the World day after election:
I would like to see an Obama presidency use its power to help bring democracy to the Middle East.
Neal Conan: Well, I'm sure you're aware that American efforts to bring democracy to the Middle East don't have a stellar track record.
Saudi Arabian: Yes, but America didn't have Obama before.

Guy behind me on the bus on election day, pointing at my "I Voted" sticker (or my breast): So who did you vote for?
Me: Obama.
Guy: Do you honestly think he's going to cut taxes?
Me: No, not really. But I don't mind paying taxes if it means everyone is getting health care, or more money is getting put into the education system, or whatever.
Guy, looking at me as I'd said something disgusting: Oh.

Text message Trevor received from our dear friend Francesco shortly after the election was called for Obama: ALL WHITE PEOPLE ARE TO REPORT TO THE COTTON FIELDS BY 7AM TOMORROW MORNING FOR ORIENTATION

Person in line behind me at my polling place: This is American Fork, UT, I'm probably the only person in this place who's voting for Obama.
Me: I'm voting for Obama.
Person in line in front of me: If Obama wins, I'm blaming you two when tax season comes around.
Poll worker: It's nice to see so many young people at the polls this year.
Person in line in front of me: It would be if they weren't sending the country to hell in a handbasket.

Trevor shortly after coming home from voting: I voted for the Libertarian for Attorney General, just to spice things up.
Me: No way! I did the same thing!
Trevor: Got to love those races you know nothing about.
Me: When it came to the school board race, I just kind of "Uhh...I'll pick the woman." Do you ever wonder how many people's livlihood depends completely on people who come to the polls and say "Welllllll...he has a cool name"?

Coworker #1 on the day after the election: I heard Obama has already canceled all the tax cuts he kept promising.
Coworker #2: I'm not surprised one bit. I have no idea how he duped so many people.

Guy sitting next to me on the bus on election day: Did you vote today?
Me: Yes, I did.
Guy: McCain?
Me: No. Obama.
Guy: Yeah, I like some things about Obama, but I don't trust him enough on foreign policy. For example, you know that McCain is going to stand up for Israel no matter what, but you don't really know what Obama would do if there was a decision over Israel. And I just think we should stick with our allies.
Me: I personally think America's unconditional support of Israel is a little ridiculous. We're always saying to the rest of the Middle East, "We know none of you like this, but we're just going to do it anyway." I understand it's good to have allies in that region, but I think a lot of other countries would be inclined to be our allies if they weren't so bent over Israel.
Guy: Well that's your opinion. I moved to the United States from Israel five years ago, but most of my family is still over there.
Me: Oh.


Anonymous said...

HAHAHA I laughed so hard I had to send the link to everyone in my office so they could see why. Comments as follows:

1. You have some high-caliber bus drivers in American Fork, UT!

2. As awesome as Obama is - and I cannot stress enough how awesome he is - he unfortunately is NOT a superhero.

3. This is why the measure to increase taxes to pay for road maintenence in Ridgecrest didn't pass (yes, I still vote in Ridgecrest...weird).

4. No comment needed.

5. Nice to know we're doing our civic duty.

6. Corollary to this: if you have an awesome name, you should go into politics?

7. That Obama, he's a tricksy one.

8. In general, I have some of the same thoughts on our relationship with Israel. However, I DO try to avoid parading them in front of recent Jewish immigrants from said country. Nice going.


emilee said...

you might as well have punch brian friedman in the face!

Rachael said...

Yes, unfortunately, Obama is not a superhero. Pretty frickin amazing, but not a superhero.

Erin said...

I didn't vote for that Super Dell guy because he had a stupid nickname in quotes. Maybe it's his real name and the rest of it was a nickname. Who knows, either way I went with someone else on that one. Yup.

Anonymous said...

This is altogether too amusing. Thanks for sharing your election day experiences. :)
~Alix (Laura's friend)