Allison Ellsworth. For this beauty:
Happy birthday to an awesome young lady.
I'd say you were fly, if I were Slim Shady.
If I were a Ninja Turtle, I'd say that you're awesome.
If it were somehow complimentary, I'd call you a possom.
If I were a gangsta, I'd say you da bomb.
And ballin', and tight; then I'd insult your mom.
If I spoke almost no English I'd still tell you you're super.
And you're definitely more amazing than a Star Wars storm trooper.
If I were studying for the GRE, I might call you callipygean and pulchritudinous.
But I won't, because nothing rhymes with that.
Sorry Mom, but "Roses are red. Violets are blue. My baby girl got married, and turned twenty-two," just didn't make the cut. And sorry to all of you who weren't aware of the contest since it was only invented today, nearly a week after my birthday, because I decided Allison's poem was so awesome it needed a contest to win.
On another birthday note: My sweet grandmother called to wish me a happy birthday on November 13th. I decided not to tell her that she was off by a day when in our conversation she mentioned how sad she was that she completely forgot her daughter's birthday earlier this month and how hard it is to be losing her memory as she's getting older.