So this morning I go to the bank, thinking it'll be a normal quick transaction and I'll be out of there. But there are free donuts out, so I know it'll be a good day. And then "The Manly Morning Show" of The Zone, a local sports radio station, is on site and discussing the fact that one of the manly men of their morning show is wearing spandex. It is because he's biking down to the BYU game in Vegas for charity, but obviously the discussion has far more to do with spandex than helping underprivileged children go to sports camps. So I know it'll be a good day. Then they start going through the bank, looking for "the honest opinions of attractive women" and I get interviewed for the radio. They said they'd play the interviews tomorrow morning, so we'll see if anything gets used from the one with me, but it was a fun part of the day. The conversation went something like this:
John: How do you feel about a man in spandex?
Me: I think it's very courageous to go out in spandex.
John: Are you saying he looks bad? Turn around there, Hans, give her a solid view before she gives an opinion.
Me: He doesn't look bad.
John (laughing): So he doesn't look good?
Me: What do you want me to say, "Mmmm, baby, he looks fine"?
John: That would be good.
Me: Well, I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable saying that.
Hans: And I'm not comfortable with all of this scrutiny.
Me: But he's clearly in shape and it's admirable to be here in spandex putting up with everyone examining him under pressure from you.
John: Do you have a boyfriend or husband?
Me: Yeah, I have a boyfriend.
John: And how would you feel if he came home in spandex?
Me (laughing): He probably would, too, and have some ridiculous reason behind it. But I'd laugh and tell him he's taking it off immediately...not in like a good way.
So anyway, my only regret is I didn't know beforehand that I'd get to give an opinion on a 300-pound-former-BYU-football-player-turned-radio-host in spandex, so I could've been more eloquent. Also, I wish I'd thought quick enough on my feet to say what I was thinking about the whole time after I was interviewed: A man so broad-shouldered and slender-hipped probably shouldn't have chosen white spandex for the top and black for the bottom. It didn't suit him as well as...pretty much any other color combination. It would've been a service to Hans, who probably doesn't think about these things, but would in the future and look better for it, and a service to John, because, it's just plain radio gold.