Book Cart Drill Team Champ

Thank you All Things Considered, for giving me a really really good reason to be a librarian.

I can't decide if my favorite quote from the story is "Our carts at home don't do wheelies as well as the models we use here. These are full-competition models." or "There's a stereotype that librarians are boring. And I think they want to change that stereotype to 'librarians are crazy.' "

Dear my family,

I think we should all become librarians, because we would totally rock this competition. I know you agree. Thank you.

Love, Andrea

ANTM Dreaming

So I had this dream last night that I was on America's Next Top Model and they kept forgetting my wardrobe and makeup and stuff so everyone elses' pictures where all awesome and mine were just me standing there. But I somehow got to the top five anyway (and probably would've done even better if my alarm didn't go off during judging).

Anyway, I told a couple of my coworkers about it this morning and the response was "Do you watch that show 24/7 or what?" And then they related to me two other dreams I'd told them about ANTM in the last month. I had forgotten about both of them. Now I'm a little embarrassed.

Whatever, they won't be laughing when Tyra Banks crowns me America's Next Top Model.

Bureaucracy Sucks

For as long as I've known Trevor, he's been getting a monthly payment from the federal government, courtesy of the SSI program. This check has helped us out with rent and other expenses quite nicely and I've always been grateful for it.

I used to feel a little guilty about it because we weren't in Desperate Need, but I realized that I never felt wronged paying for the program with my taxes prior to meeting Trevor and we do have extra expenses due to his disability and there are jobs he could never get because of his disability, so...I suppose it's a fair program.

Anyway, the month of July rolls up and...no deposit. Figuring there was some sort of technical error, we call them up and "Yeah, you owe us $7000+." Apparently Trevor hasn't been qualified for SSI for nearly a year (makes too much money, I guess), but they didn't catch it until this month. It may somehow be our fault, but as far as I know, we've done everything we should have and filled out all the forms correctly and who keeps paying someone for so long for so much without just stopping the payment? And then stops it with no warning?

A couple days ago we got a letter in the mail that basically said "Send us a money order for $7000 and we'll call it even". Yeah, since we have that. Like we've ever had that much money at once. Not that we're going to go to jail or anything, they're fairly lenient about paying back, but most likely we won't be seeing a tax return for many years to come.

Anyway, this is just a frustrated rant. Good ol' government.

Note: I was *this* close to titling this post "And You Want These Guys To Run Our Health Care System?", but decided it wasn't entirely fair. I've heard plenty of horror stories of equal or greater value about private health insurance companies and/or private health care providers. The trouble with all of these systems is that they require humans to run things and humans don't do things 100% correct all of the time. Heck, even machines that run things don't do things 100% correct all of the time. Bureaucracy sucks.

Hair Help

I need to do something with my hair. It sits about 1-inch below my shoulders and is utterly shapeless. The goal is to go longer, so I don't want to take much length off, just shape it up into something that makes sense. I keep thinking layering things up will do the trick, but I have this dreadful fear that I'll end up with the Jennifer Aniston haircut we all sported during the 90s. I've also been thinking about some sort of loose perm for months now, so maybe this would be the time to go for that. Anyway, since hairstyle brainstorming is something that should be shared with friends, I'm enlisting your help. Any suggestions, helpful pictures, etc. are encouraged. Thank you.

Oh, and for the record, I have longish bangs these days, which are pretty flexible (the standard in-the-face bang, the piece-y in-the-face bang, the sideswept band, the slicked back and not really there bang, etc...I kind of do them all), so those will need to be taken into consideration.

Welcome Tiberius

Since the disappearance of Lyric, our family has been short a kitty and feeling it, so we decided it is time to get a new cat. After looking around a bit, we found the one for us, and he is, I am convinced, the cutest kitten of all time. He's sitting on my lap and playing with the tie to my pajama pants as I write this.

He's just two months old and cycles rather rapidly from super energetic/playful to super sleepy/cuddly. He's a longhair seal point of some sort with blue eyes and little lynx tufts at the tips of his ears. And he has the tiniest little meow and purr. He's adorable. I'll get some pictures of him up here sometime if I can ever figure out how to get pictures to the computer from my phone (my only camera) (I spent at least an hour trying to do that back on the post about Lyric missing, as I have some great pictures of Lyric there, but it ended with no fruit and a lot of tears).

We named our new kitty Tiberius after discussing a number of Roman names (to match our other cat, Julius). ("I like Tiberius." Tiberius was not a popular emporer. What a moody guy." "Well at least it's better than Caligula or something." "Whatever, Tiberius practically made Caligula into what he was, killing his whole family and introducing him to a world of decadence and vice at a very early age." "He wasn't all bad, though.") We liked the ring to it, and decided he's named after James Tiberius Kirk, rather than Tiberius the Roman emperor because Captain Kirk is a better man than Tiberius was. The deal was sealed by making his full name Tiberius Kirk Kelley. My brother-in-law Tylor lives with us, so they are Big Ty and Little Ty. Tiberius also answers to Tae Bo.

Julius has moved from hatred to annoyance to tolerance of Tiberius in the few days we've had him, so we hope that the chain will continue from tolerance to acceptance to friendship. He didn't get along with Lyric for the first week or so that we had him, but they soon after became good pals, so we expect that will be the same story here. When Tiberius first met Julius, he immediately ran up and nuzzled the heck out of Julius' legs (most likely Tiberius hasn't dealt with cats that aren't his littermates before, so he probably expected all cats to be nice) which was so cute except that Julius hissed and swatted at him in return. Tiberius now struggles with his desire for Julius' affection and his fear of him. He'll follow Julius all over the house, but will turn and run when Julius notices. Yesterday, though, there were a few very cute minutes when Tiberius decided that Julius' tail would be a fun thing to pounce on repeatedly and Julius just lay there contentedly taking it, so I expect things will be just fine in their relationship.

Speaking of those quick cycles, the kitty who was playing with my pants tie and who I couldn't keep off the keyboard when I started writing this is now sleeping in my lap. Man, he's so fluffy and tiny. I love him.

Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson

Farrah Fawcett's death would have been a huge story if it hadn't been completely overshadowed.

If only Anna Nicole Smith had chosen today to die...

Garden Party Failure

June 13th -- fabulous party scheduled, but postponed due to rain.

June 20th -- fabulous party rescheduled, but canceled due to rain.

And this week we're moving to an apartment in Orem and will no longer have a yard. Such a shame.

Why is it that ever since it's been warm out, the weather has been gorgeous all week, but then pours on the weekends?

Come Home Kitty...please

My cat Lyric has been missing for about a week now. It's really quite distressing for me, Trevor, and our other cat Julius. We've asked around the neighborhood, checked the local animal shelter, worriedly scanned the roadkill on nearby streets and no sign of him. I bought new kitty toys and cat food bowls and kitty treat food hoping that it would entice him home (I know he has no way of knowing that, but I'm not a rational person when it comes to my cats). He goes on outdoor kitty adventures from time to time, but he's never been gone for more than a couple days before.

Lyric is such a good cat. He's beautiful and has so much personality. And lets me hold him like a baby. And has wolf fur. And meows like he's been smoking for 30 years. And he's so affectionate. And I just love him. He's an important part of our little family. I've been crying too much lately, worried about him.

If he doesn't come home by the end of the month, we'll probably get another cat, which will be nice, but nobody can replace Lyric. Such a sweet cat. And if he never shows up and we never know why he disappeared, I'll forever explain it with a vision of an old lady taking him in. This old lady has grandchildren who visit frequently who love to play with and pet Lyric and they spoil him with all the people food he wants and she doesn't mind when he climbs up on the keyboard, which for some reason is his favorite place in the house to lie...he is happy there and it will be okay.

Engineering Challenge!

So today at my work, we did the following team-building exercise:

In 15 minutes, use these ingredients to assemble the tallest tower you can (three or four people per team; no added support from walls or ceilings or people) :

15 - standard popsicle sticks
12 - skewers (10"-ish)
10 - wood clothes pins
10 - rubber bands
10 - pipe cleaners
6 - 3" cubes of floral foam
6 - styrofoam bowls
5 - styrofoam cups
2 - standard containers of Playdough
1 - roll of duct tape

Since I am who I am (my engineer father's daughter), I took this task very seriously and was disappointed when at the end, my team's tower toppled over before measuring took place. The highest point in the rubble measured 8.5", so that was our finishing score. The winning team's tower was 96". Me and one of my coworkers decided to take our 15-minute break immediately afterward and attempted to assemble what we thought the winning tower would be (key to our plan: more duct tape than anything else), but at the end of our break we were only about halfway through the planned construction so that kind of failed.

So now I'm leaving it up to you. I triple-dog-dare you to build a better tower than the winning team. Perhaps as a FHE activity or a weekend activity with friends. You probably don't even have to buy all of the ingredients; I don't think any of the teams ended up using the Playdough. And then send me a picture and I'll show my boss and lie and say I did it. Because I'm ashamed of my failed attempts.

How To Dress For A Garden Party

As a lover of themed parties, I am very excited for the garden fête I'll be hosting in a couple weeks. However, some of my potential guests have already expressed the age-old question "But what will I wearrrrr!?" For those of you experiencing trepidation about this, I present:

A Tutorial

Garden parties have long been a way for sophisticated people to entertain guests while showing off the grounds on their estate and wearing fabulous outfits. Since the grounds of my estate consist of a average-sized lawn in average condition and one flowering bush that technically belongs to the backyard neighbor (that I'm praying is still in healthy-looking bloom by the time of the party), the fabulous outfit part is of utmost importance. The rules are fairly simple: dress up and dress for the summery outdoors. From there you can go a lot of different directions. (Another rule I would like to add is: wear something you wouldn't wear normally. It'll make it more fun, I promise.)

As garden parties have been around so long, every generation has it's own take on costume. Since I expect many outfit pieces will be coming from thrift stores, and as everyone has their own particular favorite styles, all eras are acceptable. Take your inspiration from whatever suits your fancy (and whatever you have the pieces for). Be Emma Woodhouse at a garden party. Be Scarlett O'Hara at a garden party. Be Daisy Buchanan at a garden party. Be Jackie Kennedy at a garden party. Whatever suits your fancy. (Men can similarly be Mr. Knightly, Rhett Butler, Jay Gatsby, Jack Kennedy.) I personally will be wearing a dress my mother bought for a dance in the late 70s/early 80s sometime, but it has a kind of turn-of-the-century feel to it (no more detail than that, it's a fantastic piece and worth coming to the party to see). Have fun with it.

Women

Wearing a dress is expected, though if you want to be the girl that rocks a white pantsuit or something, more power to you. Light fabrics (in color and weight) are recommended, as it will be warm out, but don't limit yourself if you are in love with that navy dress. When looking for a dress, feminine details like lace, ruffles, and ribbons are a good idea. I know you all have at least one outfit you wear to church or weddings or such in the summertime, so if you don't have the time/money to go all out, that outfit will be fine (particularly when paired with some good accessories).

The key to doing this right is accessories. Hats and/or parasols will help protect your complexion from the sun and add a unmistakable air of refinement to your ensemble (a slide show of appropriate and inappropriate hats here). Fans, gloves, brooches, handkerchiefs, etc. will also be excellent additions to your look. A collage of some appropriate accessories:

Men

Men should probably wear a suit. If not, then perhaps a dress shirt with a vest or sweater. Classic suit pieces can be worked into various personas: the prep student, the country gentleman, the old-school gangster, the barbershop quartet guy(?). Do what feels right to you. As with the women, fabrics should be light in color and weight (all of you who spent $1000+ on a designer white linen suit once and then never really had on occasion to wear it, here's your chance, you can thank me later). Ties and hats are definitely a good way to give your outfit a little flair. There are numerous options out there for ties and hats, so have fun with it. You may not, however, wear a piano key tie or one of those hats with a little spinner on top. If you show up in either, you will be forced to sit in a timeout corner while everyone else sips their mint juleps and gossips about you (in the most genteel way we can manage: "Harold has rather let himself go since Evelyn left." "It comes down to bad breeding, I say") . Other appropriate accessories include: handkerchiefs, canes, pocket watches, cuff links.

Follow these rules and this could be you:

Additional Tips and Inspirational Photos

Don't be afraid of lots of white. Labour Day is months off:

Do reconnaissance at other garden parties if you have the chance. Me and Extraordinarily-Well-Dressed Guy at a recent garden party (the party was pretty terrific; mine will be better):
Wear something you can move in somewhat for croquet and badminton. The Most Awesome Badminton Outfit Ever:

I hope this is helpful. See you at the party! (Note: if anyone reading this wants to attend, will be in the area on June 13th, and didn't get an invitation via facebook, let me know and I'll give you details.)