May 28, 2008

The Day I Got Fired

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I did pretty well with my collections, stayed pretty busy, looked pretty. Until around 5:30 pm. My dear manager asked me to come with her to speak with HR and there were the termination papers and here's a box with the contents of your desk and your insurance is still good until the end of the month and I was out before I even knew what was going on.

I went to go pick up the car (we bought a car a little bit ago, still getting everything insured and registered on it) from the shop where it was being worked on with my box of belongings and just cried for a good long time. I was so shocked. I had to wait for 20 minutes or so at the car place, so I turned on the TV and flipped through the numerous program options until I found the most depressing channel I could (CSpan2) and stuck with that. I don't remember anything that happened on the TV, but do remember that that one "life's like an hour glass glued to the table, no one can find the rewind button now, so cradle your head in your hands" song was playing on the radio where the mechanics were working.

Now most people have never been fired from a job (at least most people who read this blog) so let me explain how it feels. It's exactly like being dumped. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's still how it is. It hurts and you wonder what you could've done differently to fix things and you don't want to find someone/somewhere else and you think about all the future plans that now will never happen and you knew there were problems but thought they were work-out-able and you listen to sad songs and purchase a huge ol' bad of Berry Colossal Crunch and forget which exit is yours when driving because you're so preoccupied with thoughts of loss and loneliness and you read Tess of the D'Ubervilles in one sitting and it's horrible. Well, slightly relieving, but horrible.

I was too sad to go home right away and have to speak to my darling husband about it so after I left the auto shop, I went to the pet store and held a little brown tabby kitten until I calmed down.

So maybe I'll go back to school...ugh, but I hate school. Or maybe I'll get another job...except I hate job searching. Or maybe I'll just sit around and live off the government...but I'll hate been unoccupied.

I was fired for tardiness/attendance issues. And had been so excited because having a car would help that so much. It's easy to be late to work when taking the bus. You miss the bus by a few seconds and it means you have to wait another 15 minutes. I wanted to drive the car to work every day.

I just really loved my job and was planning on staying there for the next couple years and had very little idea this was coming. That's all. Thanks for letting me cry to you.


Rachael said...

Oh Ange, I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do for you. I'm sending you hugs and kisses and good thoughts. And some chocolate if I can scrape up enough to pay for shipping.

Trapper said...

You would think they'd give you some sort of warning. That's what most sensible employers do. Which makes sense why they did that.

James said...

I'm sorry you got laid off, on the other hand the breakup one-upmanship tactic works here too; you'll find something you enjoy doing more, and they'll regret the day they fired you. Maybe even send flowers...or a cheesy mixtape.

Erin said...

Hey Andrea! I just wanted to let you know that I was really, really upset when I found out you were gone. It was the start of a very bad day- and it's funny you should mention that song- because I listened to it all the way to school that night. I was especially sad when contemplating the function of that dark hole NEXT to the change return hole on the soda machine, and what that could possibly be for? And there was no one to ask. I know you'll find something better- and believe me, I know how you feel. Exactly, exactly how you feel. (
Keep in touch, let me know if you need anything.

Valerie said...

Sad day! Did they give you no warning? I'm glad the cute little kitten could help you calm down. :(

elbailandosol said...

Hi my dear,
I'm sorry that you lost your job :-(.
I know the feeling, I was fired from my first job at Whole Foods the summer after my first year of college...and you're right, it's exactly like a break-up.
Be strong, and remember that this could just open up the door to even better opportunities.