Nerves

We're doing a brand new OCD sketch show next week and if it wouldn't ruin everybody else's lives I'd happily tell them I'm pulling out and they have to recast everything I'm in. They can perform sketches I wrote if they want, but don't tell anybody I wrote them. I don't belong in the business of entertaining people.

The abstract idea of being on a stage acting/singing/dancing/playing an instrument/giving a speech/whatever is highly appealing because I, of course, crave validation. I am talented and interesting and worth attention! Look at me! Look at me! But when it actually comes down to it, I am far too nervous to be a performer sort. I'm not nearly as talented and interesting as I think I am, so it's best to just imagine how great I'd be on a stage than actually have to prove anything.

I feel sick to my stomach before/during every practice for sketch group. Just practice. With people I consider dear friends at this point. But I can't help the nerves. They just happen.

This is one trait where my husband and I are polar opposites. Trevor loves performing. He gets nervous on occasion, but has some mystical way of feeding off that energy positively that I definitely do not have. A lot of it is probably simple confidence. He knows he's a powerhouse of talent. Everybody does. I guess that's why he's the one pursuing this professionally and I'm just along for the fun of it.

Because it is so fun. Okay, okay, I really love it. I wanted to jump ship the whole week leading up to our last new-material show and it went just fine. It went amazingly, actually. I didn't exactly enjoy doing that show the first time, but I was proud of it. And the repeat show was a blast because I was finally relaxed. It'll probably be the same this time around. I guess that's okay.

To our potential audience, at least, I can pretty confidently promise a spectacular show from your perspective. If you live in the area, you'll probably get a facebook invite, but for the record: 8pm, May 31st, ComedySportz Provo. Be there.

For those of you not in the area, I've heard your requests, and I'm sorry, OCD doesn't have any sort of proper web presence as of yet. We've been talking about a YouTube channel since starting this thing, but I don't have a ton of control over that since I'm not the one who has any sort of filming equipment, and it just hasn't happened yet. We've got several sketches that are worthy of filming and plenty more in the works. Someday. Look forward to it.