Collect 'em All

• Yesterday at work I got to explain to the whole department essentially everything I learned in that classic book What Makes You Cough, Sneeze, Burp, Hiccup, Yawn, Blink, Sweat, and Shiver. Ah, the useful little science books I had as a child and how not enough people read their children those books and how I'm smarter than many because of it.

• I heard the song "Bad to the Bone" the other day and I suddenly realized much singing "buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-baaad", means one is not really that bad.

• I've found my internetting time has gotten a lot less productive lately. I used to have a million things to look up every time I'd get on a computer, it seems. But these days I get on, check my email, scan over the news headlines (I don't read the articles unless they're about something vitally important like Britney Spears), and then sit there and say "now what?"

• My brother Jared confessed to me in an email that his favorite thing to drink these days is Mountain Dew. My mother would die if she knew. Oh how going on a mission corrupts a child.

• There is nothing more amusing than getting hit on when you're making a collection call. What are these people thinking? First of all, they have no idea what I look like or even anything other than the slimmest whiffs of my personality. Second of all, why the heck would I be interested in someone that I know for a fact has less than $50 to their name because the card I just ran for $50 came back declined (or whatever the case may be).

• I hate nothing more than those shirts that say "Flirt" or "Because I'm the Princess, That's Why" or "Boy Scouting" or "My Boyfriend's Hotter than Yours" or whatever else (you know the sort) on a girl that doesn't fall into the following age ranges: 4.5-5, 12.5-12.8.

• The radio station we listen to at work always plays this clip that has a man's voice: "The most 80s," then a women's voice: "You never get tired of those songs," and there is nothing I'm more tired of than hearing that woman say she never gets tired of those songs. It drives me freaking nuts.

• BYU's win over Air Force today was good for the spirits. I hated having a losing season going even if it was only three weeks in and we were 1-2. It's unacceptable. But a strong win against our first Mountain West opponent of the season (and a supposedly good opponent, too) was heartening.

• I keep on thinking that O.J. Simpson is gone. But then he shows up again, making news, bursting into casinos and stealing stuff and expecting it to just stay in Vegas. Man, this guy thinks he can get away with murder.
  

• When I was a child, I'd sing "Jack and Diane" as "Mark and Diane" after my dear parents and never got why my mother didn't like it.

• I love that I'm the fashion consultant in my apartment these days. Whenever someone has a "Does this outfit work?" moment or a "What can I wear with this?" moment or a "What's the best thing to wear for [insert occasion here]?" moment, the answer always is, "Go ask Andrea." It rocks. I love having unquestionably good taste amongst the simple.
  

You know it's a good day when...

1. You ride your bike to work wearing a skirt without flashing most of Provo (it's tricky, but do-able to ride a bike and keep your thighs together).
   
2. You break your record for money collected at your new job by $450.
3. You come home and find that your boyfriend has emailed you a link to this:

Tip of the Day

I was looking at Nate's profile on facebook the other day and came across a quote from me: "Just because I'm not as aggressive of a Q-tipper as you doesn't mean I'm not as passionate of a Q-tipper." It has inspired a post about how much I love Q-tips. Please forgive me.

Nate and I used to have contests to see who could go the longest without Q-tipping their ears. When that didn't work out so well, we agreed that we'd only Q-tip on Saturdays and we'd do it together. This led to many mid-week confessions ("Andrea, I'm sorry, I couldn't resist...I Q-tipped on Wednesday.") and a great deal of development in my self control.

About a year ago, I discovered wet Q-tipping. It's a joy. Just run the tip under water briefly and then swab as you normally would. The first few times you mostly just think, "I just gave myself a wet willy, what was I thinking?", but then you realize how much cleaner it feels. It's not as abrasive, but feels just as satisfying.

I'll go to bed before I get too into this subject. Nobody wants to read about my favorite types of earwax, etc. Good night.

Past Few

Over the past few days...
I've been using the word "awesome"more than the rest of my life combined. There is no explanation and the trouble is, it's rarely in response to something that actually produces awe (ex. "Hey, Andrea, we've got you a phone now, so make sure you set up your messages soon." "Awesome.")

Over the past few months...
"Take Me Back to Manhattan" has replaced "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" as the default setting in my brain. I'm sure it's come from trying to fight "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" and only winning after the first couple words. It's good because "Take Me Back to Manhattan" is way more fun to sing. It's bad because people don't join in like they would when I'd randomly break into "Take Me Out to the Ball Game".

Playing

Company H does web design, so obviously I've been sitting around in training thinking about all the cool things you can do to websites and I've been compelled to play with the blog. Of course, working for Company H doesn't mean I'm really qualified to play with html, especially as I'm in the Accounting Department, but still, I can't resist the lure of play. I screwed up the old design enough that I've had to pick a new template and just keep it with that for a while. I'm going to have something spectacular soon, but for now it's one of the better of the templates that Blogger gives me. So that's why there's a new look, and it's not going to stay with this one for long even though it's a good one, because obviously it's more fun to invent my own. It's just slow because it's a whole lot of trial and error.

Ah, living with people that are nothing like me...

Please join me in awe of the following conversation I had with my roommate Monique Monday morning (the only prerequisite is knowing that Monique works at the McKay Events Center).

Monique: Have you ever heard of the Smashing Pumpkins?

Me (thinking, Who on earth hasn't heard of Smashing Pumpkins? If you'd asked me before this moment to estimate how many people I know who have never heard of Smashing Pumpkins I would have guessed less than 2%, though I'm now suddenly doubting my existence): Yeah, why?

Monique: I think I'm working their show tonight.

Me (thinking, I'm positive they aren't coming until later this month): Are you sure? I didn't know they were coming so soon. If I had a single dime to my name I'd be going to that concert, but that's unfortunately not the case. Also, I'd be going to see Muse, I think they're coming this week.

Monique: Oh, that's right, I'm working the show for the Muse tonight.

Me (thinking, "The Muse"? Where do these people come from?): I'm so jealous, you basically get paid to go to all these concerts don't you?

Monique: Yeah, but once they start, I normally go out in the hall; the concert are loud and smell like pot and I don't usually like the music.

Me (thinking, The loudness and the pot smell are part of the rock concert experience and there are a lot of good bands playing at the McKay Center this fall and I bet you won't appreciate any of them and what a shame that is): Fair enough.

Monique: It gets better later in the year when there are more sports events and around Christmastime when they get classical artists like Kurt Bestor.

Me (thinking, Kurt Bestor is not a classical artist, more like Mormon pop): Yeah...so there's no way you can sneak someone into a concert is there?

Monique: No, I can't. A bunch of my friends were asking me that back when Fall Out Boy and the All-American Rejects came.

Me (thinking, That's because your friends have horrific taste): If you're going to break into a concert why would you do Fall Out Boy and the All-American Rejects?

Monique: I know, they were pretty dirty.

Me (thinking, Foul mouths are part of the rock concert experience, it has nothing to do with that comment): Yeah.

Monique: I hope the Muse keep it clean tonight.

Me (thinking, I was hoping the "the" was an accident before, but it apparently is what she really thinks they go by): Yeah, I suppose you'll see. See you later.

And for those wondering, she wasn't working Smashing Pumpkins or Muse on Monday. The Pumpkins come on the 28th (as I thought) and Muse plays tonight and I wish I were there right now, but what can you do when you're poor? The show she worked was Modest Mouse, so nothing to get excited about. (My thoughts on Modest Mouse: I don't know them well enough to pass judgment, but lots of people with questionable music taste like them, so I doubt they're any good.)

An update

I don't know when five days became "You haven't updated in forever", but here I am with an update.

I am an employed woman these days, so my days are busier. I'm also not allowed extracurricular internetting with this job, so there might be less of me on this blog. Though there are no guarantees (it might be more of me, so feel free to continue checking this site several times a day, as I know you do).

As part of the hiring process, I signed a paper saying I wouldn't write anything negative about the company I work for on forums or blogs or anything else on the internet. So I'll never say the company name on this blog, as I decided that it's far more important to me to be able to complain about the company than to say where I work. If you really have a need to know, just ask me, but it cannot be published on a site that a quick search for the company name would pull up. From here on out, the company will be referred to as Company H, because the letter "H" may or may not be the first letter of the company name (hint: it is). I'm sure you'll hear plenty about Company H as time goes on as I already have much to say and have only worked there for two days, but for now, I must go to bed.

I believe that pets should have people names.

My roommates and I talked pet names last night while I cut Monique's hair. I believe that pets should have people names. That's my stance on the matter. It's degrading to name your animal Spooky or Oreo or Rufus or whatever. I told my roommates that my sister has a fish named Igor Stravinsky. That's when the crickets went off.

Trevor and I have a dream of owning a cat and naming it General Sterling Snedigar Price. In the films True Grit and Rooster Cogburn, John Wayne's character has a cat named General Sterling Price. I've been meaning to research if that was a real person or not, and did it today. Sterling Price was a Civil War general who retreated to Mexico rather than surrender to the Union at the end of the war and was leader of a Confederate exile colony there. And the Snedigar part is just plain necessary, as anyone who knows our dear friend Sterling Snedigar could attest to.

This report will challenge everything you ever thought...oh, wait

Every once in a while a study is released that makes me go "duh". Here's a prime example: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/09/04/dating.mating.ap/index.html

I miss Finola, Isaac, Kimora, Jay, Niecy...

Something is wrong with the cable in my new apartment. We get SEVEN channels dedicated to sports (ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNEWS, ESPNCL, Verus, The Mtn, Fox Sports), but no Style Network. A much graver offense: we get TWO channels dedicated to country music (Great American Country and Country Music TV), but no Style Network. Also, no Black Entertainment Television. I think I should call somebody a racist and tell them that two country music channels must be balanced out with BET. (Not that I ever watch BET, but it's one of those channels that it's fun to flip to for twenty seconds to enjoy another culture...similar to my love of watching bits of soap operas in Spanish from time to time.)

Part II

Most of you know that my boyfriend (hereafter referred to as "Trevor") is in a band (hereafter referred to as "Part II"). Their first show is this Saturday (Sept 8th) at 8 (pm) at Bruce's house (1715 N 500 E), and they should be playing in a battle of the bands thing next week Friday (Sept 14th) in the Ream's parking lot (I have no idea what time, but you'll be notified). So those of you in the Provo area, go see them. It'll be a grand ol' time.

For some time now, it has been on my to-do list to figure out how to insert music onto my blog. I've wanted to on other occasions, but I had to do it for this post, as I've had many friends ask what sort of music Trevor's band plays or how good they are or whatever. So using my limited knowledge of html and the numerous forums, etc., set up to help kids who don't know anything about the internet put things on their myspace pages, I now present to you Part II (feat. Trevor doing vocals and rhythm guitar, his brother Tylor on lead guitar and Bruce on drums):

Larry Craig

How many sex scandals can we have on Capitol Hill in one year (Mark Foley, David Vitter, Larry Craig)? Also, even though he's obviously not a senator, can I throw Ted Haggard into this conversation just to make my argument stronger that there are a ton of sex scandals lately involving powerful people that promote family values? Do things like this always happen and it's just the media decided that this year would be the year of the Congress sex scandal (like that one year when they extensively covered every single kidnapping or that one year they covered every single shark attack and everyone thought these things were more prevalent when in reality it was just the fact that the media made them so) or is this some sort of new thing and an indication of the disintegration of morals in America or something like that? Was that last sentence far too long to be understood or does the fact that a good chunk of it was a parenthetical statement make it okay? Does it mean something that the scandals are all with right-wing-ers? Is that the media's fault? Is a Democrat who engages with a prostitute or comes out as gay or whatever not going to get the coverage that a Republican does? Is that wrong?